whether it's the fact that i have had a big month on the turps or perhaps it's the crocodile tick of my impending 27th birthday, i have decided for the month leading up to my initiation into the 27 club, i'm going to detox. yes people that means no junk food, no alcoholic consumptions and a commitment to moving my ass 6 days a week... now if this sounds a little daunting just imagine this. i am also not going to purchase any clothing, shoes or accessories, nothing, nada, zilch, zip. i can see your faces now, heavy with shock then awe and a whole lot of questioning doubt. to tell you the truth so do i.
forget forsaking the booze the thought of not swiping or typing in those sweet little sixteen numbers is actually making my skin itch.
i'm a spendaholic. i can justify any purchase. anytime. anywhere.
'so it's the middle of summer and you just bought a russian fur hat' 'well yes, yes i did. winter is coming you know and it was on sale, plus it looks good in my room hanging coat rack style'
this gift of oblivious spendmuchness is inherited from my father and his father before him, so you see i won't just be fighting an addiction but biology. hence a wee addendum to my lastmonthof26 detox. i can only buy 1 outtie to don during my actual birthday celebrations, which shall be purchased the week of said birthday and is limited to only 2 items: a dress and a pair of shoes. (watch out more thought is going to go into this outfit than kate middletons wedding dress)
i realise i'm already making an exception to the rule but i need a new outtie for my birthday don't i? what happens if as the clock strikes 12 i choke on my own vomit, suffer heart failure, or fall on a needle and check out from a heroin overdose, therefore joining the infamous list of influential rockstars who left our mortal coil at the tender age of 27. no one wants there very last threads to be less the spectacular. surely?
yes my name is erin gale and i am a shop-spend-splurgeaholic. you see what i just did there. i justified breaking the rules before i've even began and what was my reason. i who is neither influential or a rockstar could possibly die and join a spooky arse death club. nothing illogical in that at all.
wish me luck frockstars and fashlovers, detox begins in t minus 8 hours... giving me just enough time to indulge in one last splurge asos side???